By ignoring this advice, Apple avoided a bullet the size of a Tesla.

The Macalope has so stopped tweeting.

He hopes it won’t be as bad as the time he stopped eating dairy and later found himself in a Cold Stone Creamery restroom with ice cream smeared in cookie dough with the manager pounding on the door. That made me feel bad. This time, he’s aiming to be more powerful.

It’s tough! He’s been using Twitter for 15 years now! extended beyond the iPhone! But let’s just say that the horned one is not happy with the way Twitter is currently being run.

You might find it amusing to remember that just five years ago, there were suggestions that Apple should…

Wait a second. Drink whatever you have in your mouth. Do it now. Give it some time. Ready now? Let’s begin.

…acquire Tesla and name Elon Musk Apple’s CEO.

And why was this considered a wise decision? Because Tim Cook is a poo-poo dum-dum brain who cannot invent, while Elon Musk is a spaceman who creates stuff. Musk received praise for developing electric vehicles and batteries and for having such a forward outlook on sustainable energy. Then, by adopting cryptocurrencies, which consume enormous amounts of energy solely for the purpose of maintaining a number of Ponzi schemes in operation, he set that reputation on fire and threw it in a dumpster behind a burned-down Exxon.

Friends, you won’t find “items that have not aged well” in the dictionary because it is six words long. But if it were there, you’d see this passage from the story of the Macalope that was cited above:

The unstoppable innovation juggernaut of our time is Elon Musk.

His main innovations over the past few weeks have been letting racists and other bad actors back on the platform, alienating advertisers, changing the meaning of checkmarks, and firing everyone (then trying to recruit a lot of them back). There’s certainly a ton more, but he’s making it difficult to keep up with everything. On the plus side, Mastodon has seen a huge increase in users, and other services like Hive, Cohost, and Post are also gaining popularity. He has also encouraged a whole new generation of startups that want to replace Twitter. His inventive actions at Twitter are creating a brand-new market for substitutes. Genius.